Learning To Accept Responsibility Can Make You Happier
1- Find a healthy model for new behavior
Many coaching programs for business teach "accountability" as the balance between success and failure. It's a tough love approach to be able to locate and address why certain goals are regularly out of reach, and the proverbial 'finger pointing' generally aims at leadership decision and styles. Accountability is different when it comes to your own decisions because accepting the fact that we may be failing ourselves is extremely painful to admit. It requires a good amount of seriously looking at routine and behaviors that, while familiar, may not be in our best interest.
There's several buzz words that surround training oneself to be accountable for their behavior, and the first one is "ownership". "Ownership" is the voice that tells us when we are completely aware of what we are doing. Find a coach or other leader from whom you can model ownership, because it'll teach us when we are being serious about our commitments and when we are slacking on them.
2- Only you can make decisions for your life, health and wellness
Reaching our goals and being successful will come from our positive decisions. You have to visualize good outcomes in order not to feel held back, because fear, anger, and resentment will not give us clarity on where we want to go, but instead focus us on where we have been. Take initiative on investing in solid outcomes. We can feel better about ourselves and our current station in life when we 'own' hope we make decisions and hold ourselves accountable for how we make them.
3- Advocate for your best interest
We can't delegate our decisions to someone else. If we don't care enough for ourselves, then we can't expect someone to care more or invest more time in a fruitless effort. We also need to avoid looking to be enabled to make decisions. If it's the right decision, then we need to commit ourselves to it. I saw a great t-shirt that said "I wish I could drop my body off at the gym and pick it up when it's done". Accomplishment won't happen without intending for it to happen. When we're accountable for our decisions, we take the steps to make sure we are going to keep ourselves pointed in the right direction.
4- Accountability is the difference between being in the game or being a spectator
If life were a game, then we would likely look for some force to keep the game fair. While life often seems unfair, it's important to assess how our decisions contributed to those moments we may perceive as 'unfair'. Prophecy is forward looking, whereas self-fulfilling prophecy is a backwards facing position. We need to convince ourselves that there is a strategy that can lead us out of difficult situations and not look for outside influence to get us what we are looking to achieve.
5- Set up a system for personal accountability
There are three major things we'll need to help us stay accountable:
• Take ownership of our decisions, and don't blame others (unless abuse is involved)
• Surround ourselves with supportive people for the times when things aren't going as planned
• Give ourselves praise and rewards for achievement
Building a strong support system around us will keep up our resolve and commitment to our goals. We need to be honest and clear with ourselves on how well we're going to stick with our strategy. As we stated at the outset: accountability is the balance between success and failure, so let's work towards success together.
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